How do I adult?

Graduation is 9 days away!! ahhh! I cannot contain my excitement. It has been a very, long five years getting my undergraduate degree. It really should not have taken me this long to finish, but life happens and it is what it is. Wow, two cliches in one sentence, hm.

Anyway, I am so so excited to graduate and although I didn't plan on walking across stage, I am kind of looking forward to it now. Surprisingly, I have a good bit of my family coming to the ceremony. I honestly did not expect anyone besides Chris and Carrie to come, but it turns out just about everyone is coming and it surprisingly means a lot to me. I don't even understand that I feel so happy about it because my family is so dysfunctional and I've always kind of done my own thing, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited at the thought of everyone being there. The only person missing will be my mommom, and after a tearful phone call with her tonight, it definitely makes it ten times worse that she won't be there.

So, how do I adult now after college? I have basically been an adult my entire life, yet finishing college makes it feel even more official. I think it's because I now have this pressure over me that I will have this degree and loan debt hanging over my head, that I feel like I HAVE to get a job doing something in my field or putting myself into that debt will feel completely pointless. (Last week, it was brought to my attention that it was, in fact, time to pick a repayment plan for my loans. If that doesn't put things in perspective then I don't know what could). Don't get me wrong, I do want to do something in my field, but I have the added pressure of feeling like if I don't find something immediately, I will feel like a failure. I honestly have a decent paying job now, and I could potentially make a living from it. However, I definitely want to continue to pursue careers in my field because it is an area that I am passionate about. I just don't really know where to start.

The issue comes in when employers want experience, but nobody wants to give you the experience. The struggle is real. I am not above taking a lower paying job if it is in my career field; however, even those opportunities are slim and want a substantial amount of experience that I just do not have. My goal right now is to just continue to search and search for career opportunities. I chose my major because it gave me the flexibility to pursue a multitude of careers and I plan to utilize that.

I firmly believe that an education is something of value, even if it put me in a good bit of debt. So, although this has been me rambling about the fear of life after graduation, I am so ready and excited for what the future has in store. My college years have come to an end, and while it was not always perfect, or fun, I learned a lot about myself and what I want to do in life. I am confident that I have figured out what I'm passionate about, now I just have to make it happen.