Dieting sucks

Dieting is kind of difficult. No, dieting is extremely difficult. Counting macros and keeping track is not difficult. That's easy. I enjoy tracking and ensuring that I am eating for my goals. However, right now my goal is to lose some body fat. My calories have dropped a little bit so it makes it much more difficult to fit in some of my favorite snacks, like reese cups, chips, cookies, anything chocolate, ice cream, and pizza...just to name a few.

Yesterday, I bought this meal that was broccoli and chicken Alfredo and it had the BEST macros on it. I was super excited to get home from the grocery store and eat it. However, I very quickly learned why it had the best macros. There was like zero Alfredo sauce. I was disappointed for sure. Chris laughed at me when I hadn't even taken a bite yet and was getting out the scale to add another serving of regular Alfredo sauce. He reminded me that I have never actually dieted before. I have tracked and I have stuck to that, but I have never actually committed to a calorie deficit before in order to lose some body fat. As much as I hate to admit it, he was right. I was so quick to just add some more sauce without even trying the meal because I'm used to just fitting things in. But, when I am already in a calorie deficit, I need to be more mindful of what exactly I am fitting into my day. I tried the meal, and the verdict is: it sucked. It was plain and not at all what I wanted. But, I ate it and by the end of meal... I still thought it sucked. However, I was proud of myself for sticking to my goals. It was nutrient dense and gave me the macros I needed without going overboard. I chugged some water and then I moved on.

I woke up today and I felt good. My body felt good and leaner then I have in the past few weeks. Could I have added more Alfredo sauce to my meal yesterday? Sure. Was it necessary? No. I ended up meeting my macros perfectly yesterday which may have not happened had I added extra sauce that in reality I didn't need. Dieting doesn't have to be super difficult like I have been making it out to be. But, it is a diet. Even if I follow IIFYM, I am still in a calorie deficit. I am moving towards accepting this because as much as I love adding in my junk food, I also love reaching my goals. I guess I'll have to find a way to live with only one reese cup a day instead of more.

Man Crush Everyday

I have never done a Man Crush Monday post. I am not very active on social media and even if I was, I don't typically do posts like this. However, I can't help but feel so incredibly blessed everyday that I get to spend with my best friend.

Chris, you are my best friend and my entire world. I never thought I would be saying those words about somebody. I never knew I could feel this way. From the beginning we always had a connection. We instantly clicked and what I thought was a great friendship blossomed into something more than I ever imagined. You welcomed me into your life with no judgements and taught me the true meaning of happiness. You cared about me and made me feel like I finally fit somewhere. Thank you for always being my safe place, back then and still. You have been my shoulder to cry on, and the person who I laugh with. You are the person who I tell my corny jokes to, and although you give me blank stares when I say them, you always tell me them whenever you hear a new one because you know I love them. You remind me to take my vitamins everyday and you make sure I always have new coffee flavors to try. You remember everything I say, even when I accuse you of not listening to me, I know that you really are. I know this because you always prove me wrong by reciting everything I just said. Hand gestures and all.

You have taught me so much in the last few years. Like how to cook, even though I still serve you raw meat. Thank you for still trusting me to cook food for you. You have taught me to prioritize my health and to reach for goals that I didn't even know I had. Whenever I am feeling discouraged you remind me how far I have come and to snap out of it. You taught me that guacamole is the greatest food in the entire world and that chipotle doesn't taste like soap. You taught me that the single most important thing in life is my happiness. You taught me never to bet you when you say you are 99.9% sure that George Strait sings a song. You have taught me what unconditional love is and for that, I am forever grateful.

Thank you for dealing with the obscene amount of hair I lose on a daily basis. I know it's not fun or sanitary that you find my hair in your mouth or near your food. Thank you for giving me the very last scoop of your all time favorite pre workout that was pulled from the shelves forever. Thank you for making sure I always have guacamole in the house. Thank you for never judging me because of my family issues. Thank you for always filling my car up with gas and making sure my oil is changed. Past practice shows that I am not very good at car maintenance. Thank you for loving and trusting me enough to be such a prominent figure in Carrie's life. That means more than you could ever know. Thank you for taking care of me in every aspect. I love you with all of my heart.

Goal Setting

Today is a new month, AND, a Sunday. If that is not motivating to set some goals than I don't know what is. Maybe this is the coffee talking but I am feeling extra motivated to take care of business. I have a mile long to-do list today, filled with cleaning, laundry, and school work. It's also leg day which is exhausting enough, but it's a pleasant exhaustion. I have become accustomed to walking around with sore legs until about Wednesday.

I can stress myself out very easily. If I let myself, I will take feeling overwhelmed to the extreme. My way of dealing with stress and overwhelming feelings is to make lists. Tons and tons of lists. I have a list for everything. Being organized and having everything laid out in front of me at any given time makes me feel like I can get things done eventually. Even if it's one task at a time. I will literally write anything on my list. If it has to be done today or at some point, it is on a list. Who doesn't love a good list, anyway? Plus, since I do make a ton of lists I can justify having all of my nice notepads and planners! I recently ordered a notepad with Makenzie and Carrie's picture on it and it is seriously the cutest thing ever! I can see this becoming a problem in the near future, especially if shutter fly keeps sending me coupons. (Shutterfly, keep sending me coupons)

So, I was talking about goals, right?

Goals for this month:

• Wash my face EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. I have been taking advantage of my skin for waaay too long. I am very, very fortunate because I do have nice skin. I never really broke out or had more than the occasional blemish. However, for the past year (gasp!) I have been neglecting my poor skin and it was showing. So, lately I have been back to taking care of it and it has already improved! Moral of the story: Don't take anything for granted, even something as small as clear skin.
• Give my all for my last presentation of my college career. In three weeks I have my huge 90 minute presentation for my senior capstone class. This has been the most anticipated class since I was a freshman in college and in three weeks, it all comes to a head. I hate presentations. No, I completely loathe presentations. But, this is my last presentation, possibly forever, and it's a subject that I feel extremely passionate about so I am going to give every last ounce of effort I have towards this project. In a way, this may set the tone for the kind of work I do once I graduate in 46 days!!!! 
• Hit my macros for the entire month of November. I want to hit every single number perfectly and see what my body is capable of. 
• Go to all of the doctors that I haven neglecting to visit the past year. My health is something I prioritize very much, and I need to make sure I am getting the check ups that are required, not just visit the doctor when something is wrong. 

These are just a few of my goals I have for this specific months. Like all of my many lists, I have many goals for different aspects of my life. These goals are something that I can measure and reflect back on at the end of November to see how I have progressed through the month. 

Also, I would just like to share this picture because I had to bargain with them to even get a picture (insert rolling eyes emoji), they're lucky I liked this picture or else they wouldn't have gotten off so easily with just the one.